Today is Saturday. I have been on vacation for one week. One day left and then back to work. I spent the bulk of the week at a retreat in Healdsburg sewing with 46 other quilters. It was a great time. Just what my soul and mind needed. How do I make that peaceful feeling a daily occurance instead of a yearly occurance? I have a few ideas. Now to get them out of my head and into action.
There are many things that invade my mind and make me wonder what my role is in this life. So many things have been taken away that are meaningful and I have filled those holes with things that are meaningless. I have been thinking the last few days of selling all my possessions and giving my life to God to serve him in a mission position. If all is gone what else can me taken?
I find myself wanting to be silent and waiting for God to answer my questions. The problem is that in the I know longer know how to pray to God. No, that isn't right. It feels like I don't know how to ask God for help. He seems to be so silent. And everywhere I turn there is a new issue facing me that leaves me feeling scared and alone.
I try to write to get the thoughts out of this head of mine. Tomorrow is Mother's Day. I know that I am a mom. But? Alone. Here. Scared.
